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Designated Driver

Here I am inside this bar without a drop to drink
With all these bloody revelers far to drunk to think
Every bone inside me body's saying I should roam
I have to stay until the end I'm here to drive them home

  So buy another round and tip the bar a fiver
  And let's drink a toast to the designated driver
	
There's a mosh pit on the dance floor and they're smoshing to the band
They didn't really mean to mosh they're just too drunk to stand
All the body contact it awakes your inner drive
And all the bumps and bruises they remind you you're alive

  All you undulaters tip the band a fiver
  And let's have a dance with the designated driver
	
Jenny's in a corner and she's talking to a plant
Billy's hitting on a broad fergetting she's his aunt
Karen's on a table and she's sleeping like a stone
Johnny's in bathroom talking on the porcelain phone

  Let's take a moment before this night is over
  And show our gratitude to the one of us who's sober
	
Now every seat inside my car is filled with reaking drunks
I think I even have a couple passed out in the trunk
Every soul within my care will make it home alive
Let's do it again tomorrow night and someone else can drive

  You can't be naked on a horse you're not Lady Gadiver
  How you getting home? Your designated driver
© 2011 Jeff Kelley

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